Dude, it's back.

Work.

Similar to Kathleen's blog about returning to work, I too cannot believe my vacation is finally over. I had dreams. Big dreams about my vacation. I did a little bit of reading, a little bit of swimming, got a little bit of sun & got a whole lot of television/lounging on my butt time. I got into a little depression at around week 4 because I felt like a big fat slob. Then I began cooking & baking. That seemed to do the trick for a little while but figured that if I kept making delicious desserts, I'd really be big & fat.

I've been dreading going back to work because of my new position. Mostly because it's at an elementary school, which I don't have too much experience in. Secondly, it's a brand new position which also means I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I'M DOING. I'm terrified of screwing up, of dropping the ball, of looking stupid. I've been stressing myself over it since I got the position & within the past couple weeks, been really down at the very idea of facing the new year. I was having bad dreams of messing up at work & tears would come up when the subject was brought up. I had a near meltdown at a restuarant several days before the first work day.

At first it seemed like the classic "Women are from Venus, Men are from Mars" thing. I'd express my anxiety & Neil would give advice. To him, it was practical thinking. To me, it seemed insensitive and NOT practical (since the advice given was no way helping to alleviate my anxiety). After telling him what I needed (a shoulder, some encouragement), I got exactly what I needed. And, like a thousand other times before, I fell in love with him all over again.