Life thru Pictures

i've got words.

2009-01-02T09:56:00.003-10:00

So on New Year's Eve I get a citation and fine from our lovely townhouse association. I was so pissed...I wrote them this letter. I've taken out the real name of where I live (just in case). I know nothing (probably) will happen as a result of my letter but it felt good writing it. I think I have some pretty darn good points stated. What do you think?

To the Management of M.Cliffs,

On Wednesday, December 31, I received a notice on my screen door informing me that I am being fined for having “dog feces throughout yard.” The inspection of my property was conducted on Thursday, December 19, 2008. I am upset to have received notice of the fine 12 days after the actual inspection. This makes any sort of appeal impossible since I cannot remember whether or not there was “dog feces throughout the yard.” I feel that the management of M.Cliffs is tying my hands in this matter because non-compliance only hurts me, the homeowner.

There are several things that extremely bother me about the inspection procedures at M. Cliffs:

There is no general notice that an inspection: a.) will occur or b.) has occurred. If I do not pass an inspection, I would to be made aware THAT DAY so that I can either take care of the infraction right away or gather evidence if I feel that the fine or notice was not fair or warranted. When an inspection occurs and I passed, it is good to know that I was not breaking any association rules. Since I am a paying member of this association, I feel it is my right to know when these inspections are being done (i.e. once a month, once every other month, or at the convenience of the inspectors).

The way the inspection is done at the expense of the homeowner. I have been home once during a inspection and was annoyed that the inspectors climb the covered hill fronting our fence and walk behind the bushes, getting the closest view of the courtyards. I felt like the privacy of my own home was violated, having someone unwanted so close to my home. I was also alarmed because my dog, who is usually friendly in nature, was startled at these “intruders” and barked at them to defend his home and master. Had the inspectors been bending over or had my dog been more vicious, someone could have gotten hurt. There is reason for there being bushes and a covered hill fronting our fence. TO KEEP THE GENERAL PUBLIC OUT AND GIVE MORE PRIVACY TO THE HOMEOWNERS. The Rules and Regulations emphasize that rules cannot be broken within “public view.” It is no longer considered public view when the inspectors need to trek up a covered hill behind bushes to find infractions. Furthermore, residents living on the second floor are not judged with the same scrutiny as those with courtyards. Second story balconies can only be looked at from the “public view” perspective. When citing and (especially) fining residents, inspectors should use the same judging criteria to make it fair to all residents.

Delivery of notice is untimely and unprofessional. I was home when I realized that I was being served with a fine. I saw someone wearing a blue M.Cliffs t-shirt running up the stairs after rolling up the fine and sticking in through my screen door. I was annoyed that I could not even ask questions about my notice. As stated earlier, I was also upset that the notices came out almost 2 weeks after the so-called infraction, making it impossible to prove or disprove. I am at the mercy of the association to pay a fine I do not believe I have to owe.

There is no instruction on where to send payment or file an appeal on the notice. Basic information such as where to send the check, who to make it out to and by what day payment is due is not stated on the notice. This seems like another method that the association uses to penalize the homeowner. I don’t even know if my House Rules manual is the most current one. My directory has the old site manager and our old managing agent. After reviewing the House Rules manual, it was still not clearly stated where a check should be sent. I (or anyone else) could send payment to the wrong place, be assessed more fines, be frustrated, angry and out more money.

I have lived at M.Cliffs for almost 2 years and have enjoyed the pleasant living environment, friendly neighbors and the dream of owning my first home with my husband and dog. I am a responsible dog owner who picks up after the dog during our walks around M.Cliffs as well as our backyard. We have not received any complaints about the cleanliness of our yard from any of our neighbors. I believe rules are in place to ensure the continued satisfaction of living in M.Cliffs for all its residents, however, I ask that you consider the suggestions I have discussed to improve the system already in place. Please forward this letter to anyone who might be interested in the concerns of the residents of M.Cliffs.

This is the back of our house. As you can see, there is the hilly landscaped area and bushes.

In the Day of...

2008-12-12T21:31:00.002-10:00

In these uncertain economic times, I should be praising thanks to my many blessings...including having a steady, stable job. My position is being saved for next year too. For the most part, I really enjoy it. SOMEtimes, I could just punch my eye out.

For example, just the other day, I got a nasty email from an ingrate teacher whose teaching abilities in my opinion are questionable. Being a professional, I tried to remain calm despite her lack of tact. I'd like to mention that her email was in response to an email that I had sent her in attempts to HELP her. Basically, I was asking for more information about a particular student and she took it like I was dumping the problem back on her and was refusing to help her. Anyway, I spent some time crafting another email in response to her nasty one in which I maintained professionalism. I have yet to hear back from her.

I took pictures of my office the other day because i couldn't believe how incredibly messy it's gotten in the past couple weeks. A reason is: school counselor's are very busy. I don't necessarily have the luxury of time (contrary to popular teacher belief) to even put away a box of crayons some kid was using earlier that day, let alone file all the crap that gets put into my box on a daily basis. Let alone catch up on a back log of personal logs I should be doing because I have a bad memory. yeah. Another reason is: There are too many people and not enough space in my office. And the last main reason: We are the hub of all student activities that happen in our school. Toys for tots, the holiday assembly, and the biggest one of all is our mini carnival. Donations by the butt load is being stored in our office, making for a very big fire hazard. I posted a picture of my desk. As you can see, there's hardly any space for me to write anything down. I can't even see the bottom of my desk.

I just drove through the scariest rain I've ever driven through. The shoulder lane turned into a mini river. Traffic slowed to one lane cause the 2 right lanes were too flooded. I'm pretty sure he did but i still have yet to confirm that the dog pooped during these 2 days of rain.

I spent 20something bucks on this "nearly indestructible" dog toy today in hopes it would help Dutch stay occupied and entertained during the rain. I thought it would be pretty good cause we got him a similar thing from the same company and he loves the thing plus he hasn't destroyed it. Alas, it did not hold up as long as i would have liked it to.

Joe, I hope you enjoyed my post. it was pretty random plus really long.

anniversaries and birthdays

2008-06-25T14:18:00.003-10:00

Dutch is almost one year. I've had moments where i thought we had made the biggest mistake in getting a dog. this one in particular. in hindsight, i can see how our decision was made rather rashly and probably based more on emotion rather than reason.

what i actually should be celebrating is the one year anniversary of our marriage. we had a nice day together, celebrating a day early since the 23rd was weekday. looking back i realize that we only had about 2 1/2 months of being carefree newlyweds before we made the decision to become quasi-parents. some days it was too much for me to handle. it seemed that no matter how many episodes of Cesaer Milan I watched or how many people i talked to (who always had the sure fire method for taming The Dutch), I couldn't figure out how to make him not-crazy.

I think the turning point came during the weeks of alone time i was forced to having with Dutch when i took him to doggy school alone. it was frustrating seeing him being the worst trainer at school (the evidence was the fact that the handler used him as an example almost every week) and me finishing the course. Then it was all the solo walks we had to do thanks to neil's football/lacrosse schedule in the spring. more bonding time. we began taking him to more places such as the dog park, beach, grandma's house, even a lacrosse game. and with every outing we went on came a very welcome crash out. we initially picked Dutch because we was considered the 'lazy one" of his litter. indeed our dog has no stamina. it was during those times of sleepy calmness i began to appreciate our dog and could finally see the rewards of a pet rather than just all the broken chewed up stuff around the house.

And so, as neil and i celebrate our year as a married couple, we will also be celebrating the birth of our dog. he's become part of the success of our marriage so far. the first year is supposed to be the toughest part to get through. so many changes to adjust to. this could be said for both raising a puppy and nurturing a marriage. we've survived both.

Dutch in the house with a mouse.

2007-11-27T20:49:00.000-10:00

We got a dog. Neil got the Live thing for his Xbox. Dutch got a blue friend named Scooter & a leopard name Big Cat & a hedgehog name Jerome (i put him in the dryer & his hair got you-know-what).

I haven't updated my blog for several reasons. 1.) having responsibilities other than myself is hard. 2.) the computer is not in the living room...where the tv is. 3.) the internet wasn't working on my computer for a long time. 4.) though life is busy, it hasn't been exactly exciting, blog-worthy stuff.

Funny/Sad story. This morning I woke up, Neil was in the bathroom. I open the bedroom door & who is sitting outside our door? The Dutch. He had escaped from his kennel & had a nice time waiting for us to wake up. This was the second time he had done it & i'm pretty sure it was my fault both times. Anyhow, the last time Dutch escaped from his kennel in the morning, I was also surprised to see that the bunny had also made an escape from his cage & was also running around in the back yard. I thought someone was playing a trick on us. This morning, there was the dog but fortunately no rabbit out but instead, a tiny little mousey was sitting on top of the bunny's cage. I think he was hurt cause he didn't run. He was however scared enough when the dog caught sight of it to run to the other side of the cage on the ground. tragic story short, I started freaking out when he had the mouse in his mouth, started shaking it around then ran back into the house to play with his mouse.

As a side note, i have a fear of dead mice ever since I had accidently picked up a dead one from the bottom of our washing machine, not knowing what it was. I was so freaked out, i let the cycle run until neil came home & when he did, that thing was in the spin cycle. Needless to say, we ran an empty load before actually doing any real laundry.

This was the mouse before he went into Dutch's mouth. Cute yah? Goodbye mouse friend. Dutch is sorry too.

Don't See at __.

2007-07-24T22:17:00.000-10:00

I don't want to be accused of ruining the career of some terrible stylist at a hair salon that I won't mention (if you really want to know, I'll tell you in person). Can't be too carefree on what you say on the internet. What I will tell you is that this person gave me the worst hair cut/blowdry of ALL TIME. I know that Matt has some pretty horrific hair cutting stories but this one is not only a really bad hair cut, it turned out to be a really creepy experience.

So yesterday I went to Pearlridge to visit the Satellite City Hall & do some pre-work-starting shopping. I also decided that it was time to try to fix the embarrassing hair cut I got the last time in March. Anyway, I got this guy. At first I thought, "well, on tv all the really good stylists are men. maybe I'll have good luck with this guy."

It started out fine. Really high pressured water with the shampoo but other than that, a good start. I told him I wanted to blend my layers while keeping the length. What starte out normal, turned to be a heart-pounding nightmare. Here are a few things that made this experience blog-worthy:

1. He couldn't get the angle to cut my hair right. He kept having to reach around my face until he realized that he could easily turn my chair or turn his arm.

2. Once, I saw him pick up some hair & then cut the air.

3. Another time, he picked up some hair & begin to cut, nearly missing some hair that had got caught (thus, he almost cut a big chunk off!).

4. He kept putting his tools down. First the comb, then the scissors, then he couldn't figure out what he needed. He fidgeted, unsure what he was supposed to do next.

5. HE DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO BLOW DRY MY HAIR! After much failure trying to grab my hair with the round brush, he concluded that the best way to get the hair on the brush was to toss it and dry whatever fell on the brush. Sometimes he blew some hair, sometimes just the brush, a few times he blew my face.

6. After he "dried" it, he began to randomly pick up my hair and cut more strands off.

7. He didn't check for symmetry at the end. This morning I realized that one side was longer than the other.

8. He ended by busting out the flat iron. At this point I was terrified that this was another tool that he didn't know how to use. My thoughts and fears were confirmed when I saw him toss some hair up & then he tried to catch it with the extremely hot plates, snapping it shut near my very tender scalp & face. He couldn't even style that right because if flipped it out (in a bad way) and only did the top layer.

9. The most chilling part of this whole experience was in the middle. He was running the comb through the top my head (my hair was wet and therefore, when he was doing this, I knew my hair would tangle at the bottom). I remember I was thinking, "what the heck is he doing now?" when all of a sudden his hand jerked and spasmed right above my boob! It was like he goosed my chest! I got really freaked out and my instinct should have stopped him right there but I kept telling myself that I had imagined it or it was an accident. I didn't want to be rude (backwards I know).

To end my long blog, I will conclude by saying that I ended up going to the store in my town and having it fix by a very competent stylist who I wouldn't mind having cut my hair again. However, I had to cut it shorter. She did say that my hair cut was not even at all (which made me feel like my suspicisions were true). This is a before and after picture. I can't even do this story justice writing it in a blog but I am so peeved that this person (who I've seen working before) is so horrible at what he does and the shop that he's at, has not figured out how much he sucks.

Munchie

2007-05-21T20:52:00.000-10:00

Hey this is Munchie, our new baby bunny! His full name is Munchkin but we like to call him Munchie or Munch for short. He is a tiger holland lop. He is about 6 or 7 weeks old. I call him a "him" because I'm not sure what "he" is yet but I'm hoping for a boy. Anyway, he's totally adorable & fitting in quite nicely. He has full run of the house but we try to keep him out of the bedrooms. He even helps himself to whatever we have lying out...for example, I had popcorn on the floor which he had a taste of. He is very mellow & will lie on your chest. I like having someone else in the house when Neil's not around. So cute.

Puffy

2007-04-30T19:39:00.000-10:00

I've been babysitting Alfie at the new house for about 2 weeks now. My mom & grandma went to Japan & even though they've been back for a couple days, I still have the stinker. I know he likes it at my mom's house better because he definitely likes my mom more than me. However, this daily presence of a fuzzy-o has increased my desire to get my very own bunny (although one could agrue that Alfie is technically mine but since he prefers my mom, he's now hers). Anyway, we went bunny shopping on Saturday where we realized that much of the bunny population were sold & not replenished after the Easter season. There was one at Pet's Central, that I had never seen before. It was one of the cutest ball-o-fluff that I had ever seen. It was frickin adorable. He looked liked these two here except he was a different color. C'mon, if you saw these guys bouncing around, you'd loved them too. His head was GY-NORMOUS. It was easily half his body. He had such a dumb look on his face too. More cute points. Wanted me one just like him. I never heard or seen them before which surprised me because I like to think of myself as some kind of bunny obsesser. I'm going to look for a lop eared lionheaded bunny. You likey too?

Changing

2007-03-12T20:51:00.000-10:00

Feels like this year is all about changes. Marriage, a new home, a new family, (maybe a new job!?--a post for that a little later when things are more clear). In the past month we've been in the process of buying a new home. In the past 2 months, we've been working on creating a more solid relationship foundation for our marriage (i.e. Engaged Encounter & our new marriage counseling class). In the past 5 months we've been busy trying to organize a wedding. It's been tough.

However, what I've realized was how well we work together. We both have strengths & weaknesses & fortunately, we usually compliment each others weakness with a strength. For example, Neil is really good at talking to people, gathering details & understanding complex information. My job is to organize all this info & keep our commitments straight. I am also pretty easy to stress myself out & feel overwhelmed. Neil keeps me calm & reframes a situation in a positive light.

I can't believe how quickly we've all become "domesticated." This was also a change that seemed to happen overnight. This shock I'm sure will soon wear off once we start having kids but I think I'm getting ahead of myself.

The Secret #2

2007-02-20T21:42:00.000-10:00

Well, yesterday I began telling the story of "The Secret" & how I hoped it could help change my life. They say that we have to first be grateful for what we already have. I think it helps the brain switch its thinking from a "want-mode" to a "receive-mode." We live in a country that is always wanting. The grass is always greener somewhere. We're constantly upgrading our lives. Not to say that I don't want to have a quality life with quality things & people in it. I see receiving as being grateful for whatever I get. Whether it be the ideal job or home or mate.

I am thankful for my life. I think I 've got a pretty nice little life going on. I've got a comfortable home, the loft all to myself. I've got a full time job in the field that I got my degree in. I have children at school who give me daily hugs & smile & say my name. I'm able to smile everyday. I laugh easily. I have great friends who although now we are very different, we can always enjoy each other's company. I have a very loving fiance who is patient & kind & funny & smart.

Speaking of which, he is a very good example of how he came into my life when I least expected it. I had finally come to peace with my single status. I was enjoying spending time with myself & being available to anything that came my way. I was truly enjoying what I had. I was no longer wishing for that ideal prince. I was thinking & feeling differently & therefore I was behaving differently. And suddenly the universe (yes, I'm going to talk like that kooky lady) plopped down a very wonderful person. He was definitely a life changer.

It's going to take a lot of conscious effort to turn my thinking, feeling & acting around. We'll see how it works.

The Secret

2007-02-19T21:26:00.000-10:00

A bizarre thing happened back in December. I was at a consultation at this florist & while I was waiting, the caretaker of the house made small-talk with me. She was telling me about this book she just read. At first I was just being polite because this lady sounded like she got into some weird new age stuff. She describe to me that the universe is working with us & gives back to us what we project onto it. I think it was the way that she described that made her sound a little loopy. However, after trying to shift through the strange stuff, I thought about the core part of her story. That we have the individual power to make things happen in our lives, whether it be good or bad. That we need to know how to think in order to attract what we actually want. Easier said than done.

Tonight I was trying to catch up on all my dvr recordings. Oprah did a show on the dvd & book entitled, "The Secret." She made it sound like if I knew this secret, I could have everything I ever wanted. After listening for a bit, I realized that this was the same thing that other lady was telling me about. Somehow, Oprah & her panel of people made it make sense. They said that we can't have room for the good if we can't be grateful for what we already have. We have to change our thoughts, feelings & actions. In order for us to receive, we must be ready to also let go. Letting go of our bitterness & our mistakes. Once again, easier said than done.

2006-11-27T19:59:00.001-10:00

Please tell me these are not the cutest pictures you ever did see. I dare you--if you do, you'd be lying.

2006-11-12T20:27:00.000-10:00

On Nov. 4, we said goodbye to a very dear fella. For about 2 weeks, Brownie was battling physical aches & after almost a week in the hospital, a week of medication & the loving thoughts from his family, it was decided that he had been through enough. The final decision was not easy & I felt the enormous pressure of having the final say. These photos are how I like to remember this funny guy. He was always full of life & I can still picture him hopping up & down by the door of his pen as we drove up the driveway. As he got older the hopping was not as high but the enthusiasm to see us every week was still there. He learned how to sit, shake hands (both of them!), lie down & roll over. When he got sick I asked him to shake my hand & it was hard to see him want to but couldn't. He had lost a lot of strength & had a hard time sitting up for long periods of time, let alone on one leg. He still tried & that made me happy enough. My mom, Neil & I chose to be there with him & I think he knew it was his turn. I bet the first thing he did on the other side was eat. Neil said he had some burgers & I bet whatever it was, he felt much better afterwards. It's so quiet at my grandma's house now. I thought I heard his crying (he used to do that when we would eat lunch in the house & wanted us to take him outside) but it was just my imagination. My grandma said it has been lonely because even if she was scolding him, she was talking to someone. He had a good country life, caught a few chickens, had a few free runs & sometimes ate the best food in the house. He was a good dog & a good friend.
Brownie

2006-11-12T20:16:00.000-10:00

I haven't been doing too good of a job of updating this site. this was my very first jack-o-lantern & even though my carving knife snapped off when I was cutting out the top (the very first thing you do), it didn't turn out that badly. It's hard to tell in this picture but it's supposed to be a jack-rabbit-o-lantern. Alfie didn't really pay too much attention to it, he just wanted to be off the table. I even made pumpkin seeds which turned out to be quite tasty. Even though I got no help from the mister & my mom, I think I'll do it again next year.
Alfie's new friend

2006-11-12T20:15:00.000-10:00

late jack

Engagement!!!

2006-10-09T22:06:00.000-10:00

What an unbelieveable weekend. As you can tell by the ring on my finger & the look on Neil's face (& my eyes are puffy from crying), we're engaged! It happened on Friday, October 6. It was like any other Friday night--spent at the Kapolei football stadium, watching Neil coach. It seemed like the game went on and on & I was in an unpatient mood. The embarrassing truth was that I was feeling a little bummed out about the gift Neil had bought me for my birthday. Actually, I really liked it (it was a gift certificate for a body massage, a dr. phil book, and the office & little mermaid dvd). However, I still felt a little sad that it seemed a bit impersonal. Anyhow, I felt even worse that I felt that way & was getting down on myself for being such a brat. After the game(s) (yes, varsity too!) we went to Zippy's where I could no longer hide my feelings. On the ride home, I admitted to Neil how I felt & began crying. He understood and I felt even worse!!! We got back to his house where he decided to take a shower & I began watching a documentary about Hitler (of all things) while still feeling a little miserable. Suddenly, the door opened and in the doorway stood Neil, still dripping wet from his shower but wearing the same pants from the game (which confused me). Before I knew it, he was down on one knee, a pretty red box in his hand and he asked for my hand in marriage. I immediately said, "yes" while I started to sob but this time out of pure joy. I was still lying down when he slipped the ring on my finger. It was absolutely gorgeous. He then told me what really happened:

He had been thinking about proposing to me for a little while now but since it was football season, didn't have the opportunity to do the searching. After he heard that I would be working every day during our Fall Break, he seized that chance & set out for the stores everyday looking for the perfect ring. After no such luck, he decided to call his father's jeweler in Cinncinati. He was initially was going to purchase a loose diamond but after a few photos sent to him via email, he knew he had found a perfect ring. He ordered it & it was shipped overnight. On Friday, I asked him if he wanted some leftover manapua's from our lunch at work. I knew it was some of his favorites & I was disappointed when he told me he already ate & was going to go to work soon. He was actually waiting for the FedEx truck to deliver the ring to him. It finally got delivered, just before he was supposed to leave for the football game. After seeing me in such a pathetic mess that night, he couldn't wait a moment longer. Neil had originally planned to propose at Roy's Restuarant on Sunday when we would be celebrating our birthday's together. He had planned to surprise me during dessert.

This moment was what I had dreamed of for years. We've started the wedding planning already. Neil is the kind of person who makes me smile whether he's sitting next to me or miles away. I love him. He loves me. That's just right.

School Portraits

2006-09-20T20:16:00.000-10:00

sorry, check out my myspace blog using these pictures. I didn't know how to post pictures there without posting them here first. I just use whatever computer knowledge I have to do what works. But since you're looking here, I just have to say, my current photo (blue shirt) looks rather hideous primarily because I can see my sweaty hair sticking to my head.

2006-09-06T21:34:00.000-10:00

So after reading the blog I just wrote, I realized that I was going to write about work & not Maui but then I wrote about the trip. Well, I guess I'll write more about work later. Just wanted to correct the first sentence of my last blog.

2006-09-06T21:17:00.000-10:00

Not too many new things going on. I could talk about going to Maui but pretty much everyone went on the trip & knew what happened. If you are reading this & did not go on the trip, here's what happened in a nutshell:

1. Stuck in traffic for 2 1/2 hours. Brush fire closed road. It's good to be 24 (& not old enough to drive the rental without a fee!)
2. It's hard to move 15 people to the same place at the same time. Nearly impossible.
3. The lavender farm was pretty. I like the smell of lavender now.
4. Jokes about the lavender farm stopped being funny after about 30 smart-ass comments (probably stopped being funny after 2 jokes were made but I'm trying to make a point about how many smart-ass comments were made that WERE NOT funny.)
5. Remember to take Dramamine before driving to Haleakala. Also, I think Michael would agree, no heavy drinking the night before either. Also, & this is for Keane, pull over when Michael tells you to pull over.
6. Probably a good idea to ask the "market price" of something before ordering TWO of it. :)
7. Guri-guri wasn't as good as I thought it was...strawberry good, pineapple stinky.

All in all, I had a great time. I feel like I'm still trying to recover from all the fun I had. I'm sorry for everyone who got stuck in that awful traffic on Tuesday (since we were ALL stuck in the traffic on Friday). Well, just a few more days until another weekend! Wheee!

169

2006-08-20T21:52:00.000-10:00

That's the number we pulled. Our hopes of buying our first home has been temporarily put on hold. Although I knew it would be a long shot, I couldn't help feel a sense of excitment & every once in a while, would let my mind slip into daydreams of having my own home. Even though we pulled a sucky number, I still believe that things happen for a reason & perhaps this was not the time or place for us.

2006-07-30T20:29:00.000-10:00

On Saturday we went to Waimea Falls Park. It was my first time there...I may have been there in elementary school but I don't remember. It was a nice hike. Well, this is a picture of why the falls is so famous. A powerful wall of water emptying into a serene pool of water. A nice place to swim away from the beach. After a pretty short walk, there it is. I was in shock. It wasn't what I thought it'd be.

This is what the falls actually looked like:

This is what happens when there's no rain. It wasn't the magical backdrop for my picture but it was nice to get out, do something a little different & get exercise too.

Afterwards, we got some shave ice & rounded out the afternoon at Mililani Uka--Neil played some basketball with some old high school classmates & I got a chance to catch up on people I haven't seen in years.

Even though I didn't work out nearly as much as Neil, sitting out in the sun is hard work too. We were pretty bushed but our day wasn't over yet! We got to eat at Ihilani's buffet which had the chocolate fountain. It's not the chocolate that excites me but rather the idea of sticking a whole but of stuff into a streaming fountain of chocolate. I could stick my head in there. I didn't but I could have.

And finally, we rounded out the day with a game of poker. My suggestion is that we start sooner so that we aren't finishing up at the crack of dawn. Okay, that's an exaggeration but maybe next time we'll have time for a second game. I'm bringing the snack next time. All in all, it was a great Saturday...until Sunday when Neil woke up & got sick. It was just awful for him. But not enough from keeping him away from that football of his! It was a great weekend.

2006-07-25T20:32:00.000-10:00

Dude, it's back.

Work.

Similar to Kathleen's blog about returning to work, I too cannot believe my vacation is finally over. I had dreams. Big dreams about my vacation. I did a little bit of reading, a little bit of swimming, got a little bit of sun & got a whole lot of television/lounging on my butt time. I got into a little depression at around week 4 because I felt like a big fat slob. Then I began cooking & baking. That seemed to do the trick for a little while but figured that if I kept making delicious desserts, I'd really be big & fat.

I've been dreading going back to work because of my new position. Mostly because it's at an elementary school, which I don't have too much experience in. Secondly, it's a brand new position which also means I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I'M DOING. I'm terrified of screwing up, of dropping the ball, of looking stupid. I've been stressing myself over it since I got the position & within the past couple weeks, been really down at the very idea of facing the new year. I was having bad dreams of messing up at work & tears would come up when the subject was brought up. I had a near meltdown at a restuarant several days before the first work day.

At first it seemed like the classic "Women are from Venus, Men are from Mars" thing. I'd express my anxiety & Neil would give advice. To him, it was practical thinking. To me, it seemed insensitive and NOT practical (since the advice given was no way helping to alleviate my anxiety). After telling him what I needed (a shoulder, some encouragement), I got exactly what I needed. And, like a thousand other times before, I fell in love with him all over again.

2006-07-10T23:48:00.000-10:00

Tomorrow will mark the 2 week countdown to the end of my vacation. I don't think I would be so anxious about it if I were returning to my previous job. However, in two weeks I'll be starting a new job at a new school with little kids (who sometimes freak me out). I'm a year more experienced which should mean I know things but I feel even less prepared than before the beginning of last year. I'm sure there's a certain level of expectation from my new school because of my 1 year of experience under my belt which makes it even worse.

Last night, after one dream about pirates (we saw Pirates of the Carribean last night & then came home to watch "The True Pirates of the Carribean" on the History Channel) I had a dream about what my first day at work was going to be like. First of all, i was late cause I didn't set my alarm & also forgot that I need to be there early to greet the kids. Then I felt insecure so I went back to the high school to visit & some of the kids forgot about me & then I felt bad cause I had to tell them I wasn't their counselor anymore. I tried to counsel some kids using the Connect Four but turns out I had about 4 hours to kill.

I've accepted the fact that my 1st year will be a challenge. I've accepted that the 1st semester will be most difficult. It's going to be a world away from what I was trained to do in my internship & during my first year. Problems will be different. Jobs will be different. Techniques will be different. I hope with all this change brings positive outcomes. I'm sure it will. In the meantime, my anxiety will still linger as my summer vacation melts away & the countdown to the next holiday begins.

2006-07-07T13:04:00.000-10:00

I thought I would never golf. When I was little, I did the things my brother did. He played soccer, I played soccer. He rode bike, I rode bike. In fact, in the 8th grade, I found the same pattern he made to construct the car we had to make for woodshop & made the same car as him. Yeah, it's pretty lame but I was a young impressionable kid.

However, as the years went by, I decided that my brother wasn't really that cool. He liked computers, computers are boring to me. RC cars...stinky. Then came golf. It was the boringest idea I ever heard of. I believe he was in the 8th grade & I was in the 6th. My brother even joined the golf team in high school. What a dork!

Well, history was made on Sunday...Neil (the boyfriend not brother) took a LONG drive to Kahuku Golf Course & actually played 9 holes. It was fun. Fine, I admit it. The course is not the greenest but it had a beautiful view of the ocean & the sky was so blue. It was a good time while getting some exercise on the side. I'd like to give it another try since I wasn't that bad...wasn't that good either but that's what practice is for.
Fore!

2006-07-07T13:03:00.000-10:00

Gone Golfing

2006-06-20T20:39:00.000-10:00

I've entered the 3rd week of my summer break. Yesterday I went to my first meeting at my new school. After that meeting, I am determined to enjoy my break even more cause it sounds like I'm going to be WORKING my tushie off. However, it seems like I'll be more of a coordinator/organizer, rather than putting in a bunch of direct services. So, I've decided to come up with a few goals:
1. Improve the swimming skills
2. Get a tan
3. Finish the books currently reading
4. Watch as much tv as possible.
5. Do a little exercising

Today was a good example of how days are slipping by. Woke up around 8, watched some Golden Girls, watched some FIFA, fell asleep again & woke up again around 12. After some lunch & another hour of watching tv, I went home (i was at Neil's doing all this) & watched some of the recorded shows on my dvr. I got #4 down pretty good I think. tomorrow is another day.

2006-06-10T11:54:00.000-10:00

I'm such a cry baby! Movies, documentaries, reality tv, even commercials have a way of making me tear up. Yeah, it's pretty sad. A favorite of mine is the commercial with the two couples, one old & one young walking through the park. The old couple is having a nice stroll, holding each others hand while the young couple are separate, walking with a purpose. Having passed the old couple, the girl looks back at the nice old couple & then she & her husband/fiance (it was a diamond commercial afterall) start holding hands. Aww... I'm getting misty just thinking about it.

2006-06-08T16:46:00.000-10:00

Yuck. I've been sick. Not just *cough, cough* *sniff, sniff* sick, but running to the bathroom every hour. I've never been sick like this before. Of course everyone knows of my bathroom issues because of my lactose intolerance problem. However, this sickness kicked my ass (literally & figuratively). I pooped until there was nothing left but water.

So I slept. I also watched tv. My body is restless & is sore. I am weak because I've been getting by on 2 soup "meals," powerade & water. I'm hungry because food on tv looks delicious but I have no desire to eat.

I went to Walmart today to pick up some pictures & grab some more gaterade & it was a chore. I love Walmart but unfortunately, I couldn't really enjoy the little excursion. It has also been hot. SOOOO hot. Napping is interrupted by waking in a puddle of sweat.

To make it even worse, Neil is gone until next weekend & is not here to take care of me. :) I'm getting pretty tired again...I think I'll watch a movie or something. The picture posted is one that melissa & I took when we were in Budapest. Notice how there's a shelf where the poop lands. This is where one can inspect their poop to make sure it's "healthy." It also looks like it saves water.

2006-06-04T11:41:00.000-10:00

Tomorrow is the last day of school. YAY!!!! yay!!! Okay, it's going to be a bittersweet goodbye. It was only 10 months ago that I began my temporary position as a counselor at PCHS. there were times when I questioned by career choice. There were times that I was so angry...at parents, at students, at teachers, at myself, at the entire school system. There were afternoons that I would have lost my head if it were possible. It was no joke when they told us in grad school that we needed FLEXIBILITY. If I were any more flexible, I would quit my job & become an exotic dancer (who probably makes much more than I). Well, that's out of the question but that's what I've become. Gumby, the flexible counselor. Bending backwards to ensure the success of my students with the occasional bending forwards to take it from behind by the parent who always had to get their way.

I've stayed behind to work long after others have left while also (mentally) checking out when having to hear the same "poor me's" story. Yes, I've done it. I've tried (with no success) to meet all my students. I have however, memorized names. I have met ALL my core students just in time for the end of the year. I will probably miss them the most. Those are my freshmen. They are funny, bright, passionate, innovative. They have brought smiles to my face while at the same time have driven me insane.

I have been late to meetings. I have missed meetings. I have been guilty of not scheduling meetings. I hate meetings. I don't know if I've ever sat in a meeting where decisions were made without needing another meeting. Meetings suck.

I've hated my job. I've dreaded my job. I've tolerated my job. Hey, I kinda like my job. I've even loved my job. It's been a great year. I

hope to have some pictures to post with this blog a litle later.

2006-05-07T20:00:00.000-10:00

Last week two funny but not-so-funny things happened.
First: A student came by to ask me something & I was in the lunch room finishing up lunch. I was bending over, washing my hands & she said (in front of a VP, our Student Services Coordinator, & another counselor), "Miss, are you pregnant?" I was so flustered, all I could say was, "Why, do I look pregnant?" To which she replied, "Nah, no lie Miss, I can see your pudge right there" & she pokes me in my stomach. All I could do was laugh. I laughed all the way to my office while thinking, "holy crap, what do I look like?"

Second: As the cherry to my already eye-opening week to how I actually appear, I was watching my students' imovie projects. It just so happened that a couple groups used me to interview or as an actor. And what I feared the most, one group decided to use a clip of me talking & whoever was the camera person zoomed in so what it looked like was a huge 7 ft image of just my head. It was hideous. My face also looked somewhat lopsided. Something was wrong with my hair so it looked even bigger. No joke.

So I decided to post a picture of me (& Neil) that 1.) doesn't make my head look big 2.) You can't see my stomach, thus, can't tell if I'm "pregnant" or not.

Ironically, I went to a cousin's baby shower this afternoon & there was a total of 3 pregnant women there & one who just gave birth. I was in good company.

Please?

2006-04-24T08:47:00.000-10:00

Two things: Can I have one & how can I grow mine like that?

2006-04-04T21:46:00.000-10:00

I followed this lady bug all over. My mom thought I was a little nutty, squatting & taking pictures of the ground. I like lady bugs. This one was especially interesting because it had a big dent. I wonder how it got it.
trooper

2006-03-29T17:06:00.000-10:00

How did you guys find me so quickly? I keep meaning to post a blog on the phatties page but keep forgetting.

Despite reading all of Joseph's blog's about the ignorant people he runs into...I'm still shocked when I actually see it happening. Today I was at Ala Moana Old Navy, standing in line. In front of me was a Caucasian mother & her young daughter (maybe 10 y.o) & behind me were several local Asian teenage girls. They were playing with the soccer balls by the check out counter & giggling as teenieboopers do. This caught the attention of the Caucasian lady. She asked them if they played sports--"no" they danced. "OH! You dance. D o you travel to the United States? I mean, do you get to travel?" "We're going to Italy." "Oh, Italy." (I think they said Italy) At this point she turns to her daughter & whispers, "difficult." The lady is smiling with a look of satisfaction similar to how one might get after talking to a 3 year old. She didn't realize the girls were not very talky because they didn't want to talk to her, & not because they couldn't talk to her. "What is it that you are anyway? Are you Asian?" "I'm Japanese." "Oh, you're not Asian? You're Japanese. (still smiling) You know, between Asians & the Hispanics, you all look the same." The girls start giggling & the lady is still smiling.

In the past several weeks I've restored my interest in stations like TLC, Discovery, NGC--all that good stuff. I also started watching this show called, "Little People, Big World." The mother, father & one son are Little People & it's about their daily lives. I also watched Hotel Rwanda last night (yes, I've been watching a lot of television) which told the story of a hotel manager who sheltered the Tusti refugees escape from the genocide happening in their country.

My point is, there are so much education out there. Something as simple as knowing that Japanese people are also Asian (& that these girls were Asian Americans, something that I would have said) seem so basic to me. But then I got to thinking of all the things I don't know I don't know. I couldn't stay irritated at her for very long.

My Dream

2006-03-28T21:23:00.000-10:00

Many times, the my stories revolve around what I dreamt the previous night. This will be the first of probably many such entries.

The picture posted doesn't have anything to do with the dream & is actually over a year old. I just like bunnies & since I had lunch with my dad today, I decided to post a picture of the bunny he lives with. His name is Jabba. He's pretty darn cute, isn't he?

In any case, I had this dream a few nights ago & when i woke up, I had a weird feeling. I dreamt I was babysitting a co-worker's baby who was dressed up in a bear costume. It was like carrying around a big soft teddybear. I was walking around Pearlridge with Neil. I vaguely remember being in a jewerly store. I felt really guilty because i dropped off the baby to go to work at my grandma's house & when I got him, I forgot to change his diaper. In the morning I just so happened to be watching TLC's a Baby Story & checked my email to also find out that a classmate of mine just had a baby.

Okay, okay, before everyone gets all assume-y & overanalyze-y, I'm not becoming baby-crazy nor am I itching for some sparkles. So why am I sharing this dream? That's a good question. Neil believes that dreams don't mean anything. It was just a cute moment with a cute baby & a cute boyfriend. It was extra precious that the baby was in a bear costume the whole time. When the time eventually comes, my baby will definitely be in a fluffy costume. Preferrably a bunny suit.

2006-03-21T18:18:00.000-10:00

Not sure who will read my blogs...my random boogers of my brain if you will. Thought of having one after reading several of my friends' blog pages. I guess we'll give it a whirl. I've never really been too good with the journal writing thing & I'm not funny, clever or filled with tons of good stories. Just me, my thoughts & a few quirky things that happen to me are all I've got.

I really like pictures. I like taking them, I like being in them, I like the idea of capturing moments & being able to revisit them whenever I want. I have a bad memory but pictures have a way of jump starting the ol' noggin to happy times. That's another thing...one rarely takes pictures of bad or sad times. Then there are times when I wish could have been saved on film. Like, the numerous times (I think 3) I flipped over while sitting in my chair. Or the exact moment I fell in love with Neil (I can't really pinpoint it but wouldn't that be a neat idea?). How about that time I told off the professor I worked for who wasn't a very nice person (okay so at the time I wasn't very happy but it has turned out to be a moment I am quite proud of).

I suppose a part of it has to do with my hording nature. I don't want to miss a thing. If I ever feel that I'm forgetting, I can always turn back. I carry my camera wherever I go.

Well, there are more stories rolling around in my mind but we'll save some of that for later.